Ciel's Oreos
by Persona 5 The Author
Summary: There is chaos in Phantomhive manor when Ciel's precious Oreos are stolen. And who exactly is the culprit FOR THIS TERRIBLE CRIME? Rated T for language and pure hilarity... XD


"Listen Lau, I'm not here to listen to you be foolish, NOW JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU HID MY DAMN OREOS!" screamed Ciel as he began to roll around on the carpet of his quarters. Lau was pervertedly glancing several times at the scene like he needed something to squeeze because Ran-Mao wasn't there.

"Stop that look Lau, or else I may as well call the Viscount to take you for his personal delight." said a tall, dark, shadowy, tall... (well you get the point) figure. He was so dark and shadowy that you could almost call him the BLACK BUTLER!

*Oh crap, that's the name of the freaking anime... ANYWAYS ON WITH THE STORY!*

"Why Sebastian, have you ever seen such a beautiful sight! A youth sprawled across the floor in such a manner! Why it reminds me of this one time when I was getting freaky with Ran-Mao and-" Lau's words were cut off by Sebastian's gloved hand.

"LAU I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP! Anyways I highly suggest that you leave, I can feel the pervertedness of the Viscount approaching." said Sebastian as he tried to stop Ciel from thrashing anymore.

"OH SHIT WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!" Lau asked frantically as the large glass window that overlooked the vast landscape was smashed open to reveal the Viscount of Druitt who apparently ran and jumped the whole entire way there... (That's kind of creepy...)

"Well I suggest you start by coming into my arms my darling Lau! Even though we don't interact that many times in the anime or manga we can still be together now! WE CAN WRITE DIRTY FANFICTIONS TOGETHER AHAHAHA!" he screamed as he got off the window ledge and dove for Lau to pick up.

"OH MY GOSH GET THE HELL OFF OF ME! GUYS HELP ME I'M GOING TO GET RAPED!" said Lau as Druitt wrapped him into a never-ending hug. Quite literally, because I honestly don't think he was planning to let him go anytime soon...

"I'm sorry, but I cannot help you, for what you did to Young Master... In other words, JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU HID HIS DAMN OREOS!" said Sebastian as Lau and Druitt started to fly out the window.

"I GAVE THEM TO GRELL...!" said Lau as he got farther and farther away from Phantomhive mansion with every given second. Now we can only imagine what fun things they must be doing at Druitt's place!

"Oh shit, did he just say...that he gave my precious Oreos... TO THAT STUPID REAPER!" said Ciel as he began to thrash against the carpets again in a fit of absolute rage.

"Young Master, please! And after I thought that I just calmed you down... Don't worry about those Oreos, I'll get them for you, but you will have to say the words." said Sebastian looking out at the tarnished landscape because of Druitt's magical appearance.

"Alright Sebastian, get my beautiful Oreos back from that stupid reaper, AND THAT'S AN ORDER!" said Ciel removing his eyepatch to reveal the mark in which him and Sebastian were bound by.

"Yes, my lord." he said before flying out of the mansion through the gaping hole in the window. Ciel got up now happy that he would get his precious chocolate cookies, because Sebastian always did what his master told him.

* * *

The sexy butler walked through the alleyways in London with a pure look of distaste plastered across his face. But that look instantly turned into a smile when he saw a stray cat walking by.

"Come here my beautiful creature! My beauty, you're lucky that I have the common sense to not take you home. Young Master is deathly ill of cats, bastard..." Sebastian muttered as he tentatively stroked the fluffy animal.

"Oh, stop it Bassy! When you do that to animals it SO turns me on!" exclaimed a voice from behind an old building. It belonged to none other than the homosexual (S)hinigami that we ALL (I HOPE) know and love, GRELL SUTCLIFF!

"Grell, ah I was just wanting to see you..." said Sebastian as he set the cat down. It scampered away probably to return to its true owner. (Oh, did I say it was a stray? Well, Sebastian must have completely ignored the thousands of collars that were tied around its neck.

"OH BASSY PLEASE DO ME RIGHT HERE AND NOW! I promise you can treat me rough if you want, and I wore my best panties!" pleaded Grell as he cornered the butler into the back of the alley.

"You disgust me, but the sound of panties is inviting... Come here sexy..." said Sebastian extending his arms out to Grell in a very, well interesting manner.

"OMG BASSY THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!" said Grell madly blushing as they met each other in a cold and definitely not warm, embrace. Then Sebastian swiftly kicked him in the crotch very um... HARD might I add.

"Shit..." muttered Grell as he crumpled to the gravel floor below. Sebastian smirked and crouched down grabbing a handful of his hair.

"Tell me where you hid Young Master's Oreos..." said Sebastian tightening his death-grip on the bright red hair. The Shinigami winced in pleasure.

"Ooh Bassy, you weren't kidding when you said rough! Oh that damn brat's Oreos, they're in my back pocket, but you'll have to do is reach in my pants and-" Grell's words were cut off by a strong foot kicking him the back leaving him short-winded. IT WILL WILLIAM T. F'ING SPEARS AND HOW SEXY IS HE?! PRETTY DAMN SEXY.

"Sutcliff, I don't exactly believe that it was part of the Shinigami handbook to have demons feel up our asses every 10 minutes." William stated before Sebatian let go of Grell's hair to let him get up, just to have him desperatley cling to Sebastian.

"But Will I LOVE Bassy! Or are you just jealous that he wanted to FEEL ME UP AND NOT YOU!" accused Grell leaving William to turn a very dark shade of red. Uh hell yeah he was jealous, who wouldn't be?

"Y'know what Grell, just give the demon his damn Oreos already, and we'll work out this situation when we get home..." the dark haired Shinigami stated as the other reaper reached into his pants to pull out the precious chocate cookies. OMG FINALLY.

"Thanks, I guess..." said Sebastian as he ran away and dissapeared into the ever growing night. Grell was suffering from being extremely aroused and poor William had to deal with it.

"Damn that demon, now c'mon Grell, let's go home..." said William as he picked Grell up and carried him away.

* * *

"Young Master, I've returned with your Oreos." said Sebastian as he walked into the large, not to mention DESTROYED mansion. Haha, turns out that Lau and Druitt came back while he was gone and had some fun in several of the corridors...

Ciel was fast asleep, and the butler was too lazy to wake him, do he just set the Oreo cookies down onto the table, shut off the lights, and exited the room.

There was still a lot of things to do tomorrow...

**_AN: _Hi again you guys! This is my second fanfic, about Ciel and his obvious love of Oreos... Yeah I'm not exactly sure how all of the characters, or most of them got so OOC, BUT AREN'T ALL CHARACTERS MORE FUN THAT WAY? Yay please Rate and Review! **

**-Alex **


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